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Saturday, April 9, 2016

Tools of the Trade



My Favorite Poem EVER - Shakespeare's 29th Sonnet (link)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             



When I teach Shakespeare’s 29th sonnet,
I never mention Home Depot.

In this ultimate ‘grass is greener’ poem,
Shakespeare’s tortured speaker
only sees what he doesn’t have.
His brand of poverty whitewashes all the color from his life –
“with what I most enjoy contented least,” he tells us.
He simply can’t go on.

Then the mere thought of his beloved,
this faceless lover whom we never meet,
saves him.

Many men I know enjoy
the monastic quiet of their garages,
the comfort of their toolboxes,
the Zen-like tinkering on projects with no deadline,
the work its own reward.
Salvation with dirt under its fingernails.

I admire these men.
but their heart to me is as mysterious
as Sonnet 29 is to my students.

“What I most enjoy” is the adolescent face
that forgets what time it is because the book is so good,
or sitting on a leather sofa in silence,
and sipping tea while reading Richard Russo or Mary Oliver.
I enjoy throwing the baseball with my son
and waiting for him to share his day.
I enjoy playing Elton John’s “Mona Lisa and the Mad Hatters,”
then making homemade Bolognese sauce
for a family birthday party.

These simple moments bring me back from inadequacy,
from thinking my life may be too small.
But honestly anything– a tooth extraction – anything
is preferable to the cavernous aisles at Home Depot,
with hieroglyphics whose letters are made of tools I can’t name,
a retreat that feels too much like surrender,
its nails digging under my skin,
reminding me of all the things I don’t know.

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